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Marriage among 30-somethings also dropped 10 percentage points during that decade, while the percentage living together rose from 7 to 13 percent. More than half of the millennials surveyed by Pew characterize their own cohort as self-absorbed.
“Trying to live with somebody else and putting their needs first is more difficult when you have been raised to put yourself first,” says San Diego State University psychologist Jean Twenge, who studies generational differences.
Fisher’s model of how mating works is that we have evolved three different brain systems for it: The sex drive, intense feelings for romantic love and a desire for deep attachment.
These primal systems fly under the radar of our rational, “thinking” cortex and limbic system, which is linked to emotion, she explains.
The Pew Research Center reports that millennials are significantly less likely to be married than previous generations in their 20s.
Generally, during the past decade, Americans tended to have more sexual partners, were more likely to have casual sex and were more accepting of premarital sex, compared to the 1970s and 1980s.In Fisher’s view, this isn’t recklessness; it’s a way to get to know a mate better before signing up for a life with that person.“These days, people are so scared of divorce that they want to be absolutely positive of who they’re going to marry long before they tie the knot,” she says.Choice Overload and Slow Love Besides general cultural attitudes, there’s another force working against millennials looking for lasting love: The perception of an abundance of mate choice.The “choice overload” phenomenon was immortalized in the psychology literature by a 2000 paper by Columbia Business School professor Sheena Iyengar and Stanford psychologist Mark Lepper.
I always press “Like.” But privately, I feel left behind in what Vanity Fair described last August as a “dating apocalypse.” Of course, plenty of single men and women like me don’t seek out one-night stands.